Think about the last time you told yourself you’d do something, and then didn’t. Maybe it was getting up early to exercise, saying no to a draining commitment, or sticking to a habit you were building. How did it feel afterward? Disappointing, right? That disappointment chips away at our confidence and keeps us stuck.

I knew that I didn’t want to drink alcohol anymore. It was clear that it was no longer serving me (was it ever, really?) but I didn’t know how to proceed in building a new, alcohol-free social life. 

And then a friend told me something that changed my perspective on things.

To build inner integrity, I needed boundaries. Saying “yes” to what aligned with my goals and “no” to what didn’t. Boundaries protect your energy, your focus, and your growth. When you respect your own boundaries, you send a powerful message to yourself: My goals and well-being matter.

Here’s the thing: resilience isn’t about never slipping up. It’s about what you do after. That’s why so many women feel stuck in this Day 1 cycle—they’re trying to quit drinking by focusing on perfection instead of progress.

This is my fifth Valentine’s Day without alcohol, and while I would have previously leaned on a bottle of champagne as the way to celebrate, living alcohol-free has led me to a newfound creativity in how I organize a date night for me and my husband.

When I started reevaluating my relationship to alcohol, and took breaks from drinking, it was hard not to stress out about what would happen if I said yes to going out for dinner with friends - and ordered a fancy sparkling water or mocktail.

It turns out that over years of alcohol use, I had wired my brain to respond to stress, fear, discomfort - or on the flip side - excitement, celebrations, happiness, with alcohol. Looking back at Past Me, I can see now when I attempted moderation, how deeply I wanted to be a woman of my word. I just didn’t know how to do it yet.

I had many breaks from drinking (including a number of Dry January challenges) before I finally quit. But each one brought me closer to that last Day 1.

There is no trending reel that highlights the physical effects of that top seller cocktail: the hangover, the headache. Or the feelings of guilt, shame, or regret. There is no warning label that the to-do list you had for tomorrow will in fact not get done. 

This is the problem with alcohol glamorization. We are focused on the here and now, short term satisfaction. Not the series of events that will happen after you have that first drink.

Everything I wanted for my life opened up when I finally said goodbye to alcohol. Here are three things I did to get there.

Nowadays, I love, love, love my sleep routine! It’s honestly one of my favorite things about myself. Being an early to bed, early to rise kinda gal. It feels good. And since removing alcohol from my life I have developed a non-negotiable night and morning routine for myself.

If you are reading this, you may be questioning whether or not you are a gray area drinker. One thing is for certain, I used to be.