5 ways to reply to “Why aren’t you drinking?”
This was the question I used to dread when I first quit drinking alcohol.
I used to worry a lot about what people would think about me and my decision to ditch alcohol.
For many years I had been the go-to drinking buddy of many of my friends and colleagues. If I was at a dinner, event or casual get-together, it was a very safe bet that I’d have a glass of wine in my hand. It felt like such a big part of my social identity. Probably because it was.
When I started reevaluating my relationship to alcohol, and took breaks from drinking, it was hard not to stress out about what would happen if I said yes to going out for dinner with friends - and ordered a fancy sparkling water or mocktail. Would people still think I’m fun? Would they think I had “a problem” because I was quitting? How would it make me look? Would they still invite me to things? Would they want me around?
This is why I would always have a few responses to the question: “why aren’t you drinking?” in my back pocket.
Here are 5 ways to reply to “why aren’t you drinking?”
The polite avoidance.
You don’t owe anyone any “reason” why you aren’t drinking. But if you want to give a polite response that doesn’t warrant any follow up questions, give these a try.
“I’m good with what I have - thanks!”
“I don’t feel like drinking today - thanks though!”
“I’m not drinking right now - but I brought my fave NA beers with me. Would you like to try one?”
The simple and self-assured response.
I love a short and sweet response. For me, most of the time (people RARELY ask) my friends were just curious, not looking to make me feel bad. So if they asked me, I’d just give them a one-liner.
“Drinking alcohol makes me feel bad.”
“Alcohol wasn’t serving me anymore.”
“Honestly, I’m just over it.”
“Turns out alcohol is like, really bad for you.”
“It’s not my thing anymore.”
The problem-and-solution.
Of course when Joe-Schmoe at the office holiday party asks you why you aren’t drinking it is a little different when your best friend from college does. I love a good problem-and-solution response. It not only provides them with a “reason” which they may be digging a bit deeper for, but it also really shines a light on the benefits that come from being alcohol-free.
“My sleep was suffering and whenever I’d drink I’d have such restless nights. I was tired of waking up tired, you know? Honestly, I’m getting the best sleep of my life now. I have so much energy, my workout routine is on point and I am way more motivated when I get to the office in the morning. Good sleep is a gamechanger.”
“I noticed that I was spending a lot of money on alcohol. It adds up quickly! One of my goals for the year is to put aside some money for a trip to XYZ. I’ve already saved up for the flights. Have you ever realized how much more you spend when you go out to dinner and order drinks? I’m so excited for our vacation!”
The show-stopper.
“Because I don’t want to.”
😬 That’s it. Your choices don’t need an explanation. Also known as the ol’ mic drop.
Feel Good AF.
The further you get into this work (and if you join my 13-week group program) the more relevant this one will become. Sometimes I will tell people why I’m not drinking before they even ask me. Reverse the script, you know?
“Alcohol was an unnecessary thing blocking me from my dream life. It’s been the best decision for me. I’m intentionally working on becoming the version of myself I’ve always wanted to be and it feels really. freaking. good. I’ve rediscovered what I like to do in my free time, have done a lot of inner work and my confidence is stronger than ever. Oh and have you seen my hair, my skin - I Feel Good AF. If you don’t mind me asking - why are you drinking alcohol?”
It gets easier!
I know the thought of actually saying any of these responses may feel uncomfortable or scary right now. It wasn’t easy when I started this journey. I’d be lying if I said it was. But the good news is, it gets easier. And in my experience, not that many people actually asked me about it.
The more ‘Quit Lit’ I read, the more sober friends I started making, the more work I did on developing boundaries, my self confidence, and becoming a woman of my word - the better I felt about getting to share not only why I’m not drinking, but all of the reasons why I love my alcohol-free life. When you let go of alcohol you are creating space in your life for something better.
If you are sober curious and are looking to take the next step in your alcohol-free journey, schedule a free 30-minute sobriety session with me at the link below.
Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.