The Truth About Day 1’s.

If you find yourself wondering “Why do I keep having Day 1’s” or “When will my last Day 1 finally happen” here's the truth you need to hear. I needed to hear it, too.

Getting to your last Day 1 isn’t just about willpower—it’s about changing patterns in how we think, meeting ourselves with kindness, reframing our mistakes, and working with our emotions, not against them. 

When life feels overwhelming, our brains crave comfort. For many of us, alcohol has been the go-to shortcut to feel better fast. The frustrating part about this behavior is that when we have a drink to feel better, it’s not actually solving anything. Instead it’s just keeping us stuck in a loop.

Feeling bad 👉 Drink 👉 Feeling shame about drinking 👉Drink 👉Feeling bad. 

But how do we change?

How to Break the Cycle 

We break the cycle through self-compassion. What if instead of beating yourself up over your relationship with alcohol, you decide to approach yourself with kindness and curiosity? This is where progress begins. 

When you are not kind to yourself you are reinforcing the shame, which may be what keeps leading you back to those slips, and subsequent Day 1’s.  By treating yourself with the love and kindness you are able to provide to others in your life, you will start breaking the cycle. This will give you the space to learn and grow. 

And the truth is, for most of us, we can’t simply shut this desire for a quick fix off overnight. It takes time and effort. 

But if you are like me and are a high achieving, ambitious, goal-driven woman, when you restart again and again, you may feel like you’re failing, right?

But the reality is - you’re not failing. You are learning and starting to break the cycle. 

Those restarts are proof you want to change.

Reframing Slips 

A deep fear of failure is the biggest thing I hear from the women I speak with about my program. They are afraid that they won’t be able to see it through. To succeed in this sobriety thing. And I understand the fear of failure. 

But what if I told you that doing this work isn’t about passing or failing? We are aiming for progress, not perfection. 

And what if slips aren’t viewed as failures, but as lessons? Or if a slip wasn’t the end of something, but instead a step forward? 

Sounds gentler, right? More approachable. 

Every single attempt that you make to quit drinking teaches you something—what works, what doesn’t, and what you need to adjust. You have to be open to that feedback and learn from it. When you slip up, it’s not a reason to give up. It’s a chance to pause, reflect, and learn. That’s why self-compassion is so important here.

Instead of beating yourself up, try this: journal about a past win. It could be a time you said no to a drink, a social event you went to sober, or even just recognizing the desire to change.

Here is one of my favorite journals. Mine is in blue. You can use any sort of journal to track your progress, but I like having one that makes me smile when I see it.

Those wins—no matter how small—are evidence of your progress. Focus on those moments, and let them remind you why you’re doing this. 

It’s not failure—it’s feedback.

Building Confidence - One Feeling at a Time

So. Many. Feelings.

That’s how I felt when I was in the process of reaching my last Day 1. Maybe you’ve felt this too. Like your emotions hit harder when you’re trying not to drink? Here’s why—and how to take your power back.

Picture this: You’ve had a rough day, and your first thought is, ‘I deserve a drink.’ Sound familiar? But what if, instead of pouring a glass, you could handle those feelings in a way that actually builds your confidence?

Yes, confidence. 

They don’t teach us how to manage our emotions in school. At least not when I was in school.  So, we grow up outsourcing them: to wine, Netflix, scrolling on our phones. But when you show up for your emotions instead of avoiding them, something incredible happens. You start building integrity with yourself. You say, ‘Hey, I can handle this,’ and you prove it one moment at a time. That’s where true confidence begins—not from being perfect, but from practicing.

Now, here’s where it gets tricky. The first few times? It’s HARD. You might feel awkward, unsure, or even wonder if it’s worth it. But let me tell you—every time you sit with a feeling instead of running from it, you’re strengthening a skill most people never even start building. And the best part? With practice, it gets easier. Over time, you’ll notice something: you’re no longer controlled by your emotions—you’re in control of them.

Next time you’re hit with a tough feeling, pause. Breathe. And remind yourself, ‘I can handle this.’ It’s a practice, and every moment counts.

Managing emotions is a skill—one that takes practice, not perfection. Every time you sit with a tough feeling instead of pouring a drink or numbing out, you’re building integrity and confidence.

This is the foundation of emotional sobriety. It’s not easy at first, but with time, you’ll notice those emotions don’t feel as overwhelming anymore. You’ll feel in control—not because life got easier, but because you got stronger. Take a pause today. Breathe through a tough moment. Remind yourself: “I can handle this.”

Getting to Your Last Day 1

Think you’re not strong enough to quit? You are. You just haven’t built the right muscle yet—your resilience muscle.

Here’s the thing: resilience isn’t about never slipping up. It’s about what you do after. That’s why so many women feel stuck in this Day 1 cycle—they’re trying to quit drinking by focusing on perfection instead of progress.

Resilience grows when you take consistent, small actions. Maybe tonight, instead of your usual wine o’clock, you try something different—like a walk around the block or instead pour yourself a glass of NA wine from the Zero Proof (use code LINDSAYHENNEKEY15).

It’s not about the size of the action. It’s about showing yourself you can do something different.

You don’t have to feel confident to start. Confidence grows as you build resilience, and resilience grows every time you try. You are stronger than you think, and I’m here to help you see that. You don’t have to get it perfect—you just have to start. 

Small wins build big momentum, and before you know it, you’ll break free from the cycle of Day 1’s.

Finding Support

If you’ve found this blog helpful and are looking for support in navigating these changes, consider joining my 13-week Feel Good AF group program. In a small group setting learn the tools you need to feel your best without alcohol.

Schedule a free 30-minute session with me to learn more and explore if it is a good fit - or join directly!

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.