It turns out that over years of alcohol use, I had wired my brain to respond to stress, fear, discomfort - or on the flip side - excitement, celebrations, happiness, with alcohol. Looking back at Past Me, I can see now when I attempted moderation, how deeply I wanted to be a woman of my word. I just didn’t know how to do it yet.

I had many breaks from drinking (including a number of Dry January challenges) before I finally quit. But each one brought me closer to that last Day 1.